Controlling your World

bp title controlling

“Maturity is reached when you
no longer have to control people
and things that you never really
had any control over anyway.”

Your effort to control your world is a battle you’ll never win. Ironically, letting go will bring you more control.

Have you stopped to consider how much time you spend during the course of an average day trying to either gain control or keep control?

We try controlling our children, our temper, our spending, our budget, our diet, our emotions, our job security, our appearance, our health and fitness, our home security, our dog and even our future.

We just love feeling in control. I know I sure do. It gives me a sense of assurance that everything is in its place and I won’t have any bad surprises. Ah, feeling in control sure is comforting.

One of the moments I got exactly how “not” in control I am is when I planned an outdoor picnic for 300 people in my side yard. I was in total control with every intimate detail planned. Then it rained. It wasn’t supposed to rain.

Now you may be reading this and thinking, “I’m not a controller.” That’s just because you’ve gotten so darn good at it that you’re fooling yourself. We all try to fashion our environment. The in-your-face overt controllers are easy to spot. They are the micro-managers keeping their thumbs atop everything and everyone in sight. They just haven’t yet learned the crafty art of stealth-manipulation. My mama used to joke with us, “I let your father think that he’s in charge.”

The harder you try and control, the more out of control and unmanageable your life will become. It’s just a law.

Remember, life around you and the people in it are not “things”. They are living energy. They are God-crafted souls just like you and they have their own purpose and path. You are in their world just as much as they are in yours. You and I have set ourselves up in life as either a vessel or a clog.

You cannot control or contain energy any more than you can squeeze water in your hand. It cannot and will not be controlled. And your fear of being out of control will only push semblance of control further away.


As an employer, I learned to back off from my need to micro-manage (control). My efforts to control my employees always bred mistrust, resistance, unfulfilling work environment and lack of loyalty. Letting go of control brought me results that were at times not exactly what I was looking for, but it eventually brought trust, fulfillment and a sense of appreciation and respect to and from my employees.

OK, brace yourself. This one might make you controllers out there get up to go spike your coffee with a little Bailey’s. When you surrender your need to know exactly how things and people will turn out or perform, when you get out of your own way, you’ll then set the stage for Miracles! OK, I said it. I went there. Miracles.

Now, we controllers don’t like that word because we can’t figure out how to manufacture, regulate, manipulate or even explain miracles. But wow, letting go of my “how” gets me out of life’s way. When I release having to know exactly how money will show up or how she will react or how I’m going to pull this one off or how the end will turn out, I’m then clearing the path for life’s natural process. My manipulative approach is no longer mucking things up and thereby miracles are free to dance!

God is doing us a favor around every corner, and sometimes we notice it. For that controlling side of you, God patiently sends opportunities to practice letting go. Have you noticed, or are you too busy controlling?


Everyone and everything has been placed in your life by no accident or mistake. They are vital parts of your classroom, assembled just for li’l ol’ you to practice letting go. They’re not here for you to control, they’re here to help you learn how to let go of control. How are you doing so far?

Here’s a great mantra for all you seasoned and accomplished controllers out there. Tattoo this on your thinker: “GOD’S GOT THIS.”

Flip your controlling urges into urges to serve and support and learn and expand yourself, then watch life unfold for you in ways you can’t even imagine inside that little controller-brain of yours.

Let go and let’s go!